If you are answering these questions by yourself, allow plenty of time to answer deeply each question.

Write down insights, feelings, and memories that come up with each question.

By doing this yourself, you many take as much time as you like, even days and weeks, to ponder deeply each question

and come up with the answer.

It is helpful to have a journal to write down your insights over time.

If you are facilitating another, write their answers down and have plenty of  paper on hand to do so.

Then, pause for a few moments of silence after they stop to ensure that they

are finished.

  Next, you ask for permission to guide their further processing via a

series of ordered questions,

“Do you mind if I facilitate the further processing of

your feelings about___________? 

[Write the name of the person who has passed on in the blank,

below we use the name John as an example].

  (If the answer is yes, then you set the stage for the

practice you are about to do in order to get an agreed upon “container” or general

methodology).

For example, “I’d like to help you release all your feelings about

(John) .

  I’m going to ask you a question like, ‘What are you feeling about John’s death?’

which will be my first question.

Just answer with the first thing that comes

into your mind regardless of whether it makes any sense,

is irrelavent, is repetitious,

or any other rational consideration.

  Trust your automatic response to be what you

need to allow to come out.

I won’t be judging you regardless of what you say, and

this process works best if you don’t either.

Just allow whatever comes out to be OK\

with you—regardless of content.

Go with your first reaction.

OK?”

“After you complete each reply I’ll say something validating

your right to say anything you please,

such as, “Thank you for sharing.”

“Then I’ll ask the same question again,

& you again respond with the first thing that comes into your head, etc.

We continue going deeper into the heart, asking the question again and again,

as many times as it takes until you feel an intuitive completion with the question.

…Do you understand?…Are you ready to begin?”

  (When you get the OK, just ask the question, listen, & validate each reply with

‘Thank you for sharing’,

& ask it again and again.)

Questions

#1        “What are you feeling about (John)’s death?”

(Continue asking each question for at least 10-20 minutes—at least long enough that

the intensity of the responses seem to be getting more & more subdued.

The length of time to ask each question will vary with the ‘juice’ you get. Stay with intensity.)

#2        “What has upset you (the most) about (John)’s death?

#3        “Tell me one thing you’ll miss about (John).”

#4        “What was beautiful to you about (John)?”

            (If “beautiful” is not exactly the right word, you can substitute another word

            which is more acceptable to the mourner, such as ‘special’, ‘inspiring’, etc.)

#5        “Say everything you still need to say to (John) in order to ‘finish’ with him?”

#6        (Optional, depending on the outcome of Question #5)

            “If he were here in this room sitting right across from you, what would you

            say to him now?”

(Often, it’s  best to close eyes during this exercise.)

#7        “What has he taught you that you will carry on in your own life?”  OR